How did a skeptic like myself come to embrace the idea of mindfulness? Living in California there are endless self-proclaimed shamans, gurus, and religious followers who claim to provide mystical solutions to existential and psychological problems. At first glance, mindfulness appeared to have this same mystical etiology. However, the more I read about the concept of mindfulness, the recent scientific research related to the practice, and its connection with other psychological theories, the more I was moved to suspend my skepticism and see for myself what it had to offer. Mindfulness is, in its most basic definition, the awareness of the present moment with non-judgment. What does this mean exactly and how is it helpful? The ability to sit quietly and observe our thoughts and feelings without judging them, or acting on them, provides us with the opportunity to see them clearly and recognize how they affect our decisions. This, in turn, helps us to identify those thoughts that are distorted or have become automatic responses to an event, responses which may no longer be effective. This awareness gives us more control over our lives. We are no longer reacting to every thought and feeling, but choosing which to respond to and choosing how we will react to them. One simple example of this process can be seen when we sit down to lunch with someone and continue to eat well past when feel full. We keep eating because our focus is on the conversation and we are not aware of being full at the moment. It is outside our immediate awareness. We have lost touch with the moment and our automatic eating habit takes over.
Prior to my interest in mindfulness meditation, I did have a short history with mediation. I tried, unsuccessfully, to meditate when I was twelve years old. My short attention span and impatience resulted in my giving up after only one week. Now older, more patient, and a little wiser, I decided I would try meditation again. This time I would start with the added help of the dozen books I had read on the subject and an improved understanding of what to expect. I made time at least once a day for at least twenty minutes and made an effort to include several shorter mindfulness exercises throughout the day. I noticed very little change at first and stopped for several weeks due to an increase in the demands of family and work. But, I was determined to give it my best effort, and I started again. Slowly, I began to notice a change. While I am not an overly anxious person (they say that public speaking is the most common fear) I do find myself feeling anxious when speaking on matter’s in which my competence is questionable, or when addressing those in authority such as when testifying in court. I found that my frequent, short intervals of practice allowed me to bring my attention to my breath in these situations which triggered a sense of calm that allowed me to recognize the anxious feeling that arose. This allowed me to maintain my presence in that moment. This, in turn, helped prevent the anxiety from hijacking my mind, and allowed me to think more clearly, and enjoy what had previously been an uncomfortable (and threatening) situation. In short, it allowed my mind to acknowledge my automatic emotional responses, but not be overwhelmed by them. I was able to return my focus to what was happening at that moment and respond in a way I understood to be best in that situation—undisturbed by the anxious feeling.
Since that time, five years ago, I have continued to read on the subject of mindfulness and psychology. I have attended numerous seminars and spent a week at a mindfulness retreat with the Buddhist monk Tich Nhat Hann at his monastery in San Diego. I continue with my own mindfulness practice and have begun to utilize its principals in my work with couples, individuals, and families. It is not the answer to all problems, but it is a great tool to confront the stress and demands of our modern world; a world that creates an attachment to technology that can separate us from ourselves and prevent us from being present in the lives we are living. It can help us when faced with pain, stress, grief, and anger to not be overwhelmed by these situations and provide us with increased control over how we chose to respond to these feelings.
